i like balloons!

i want to get married so i can take engagement pictures like these

I could look at these for hours. They are Joanna Goddard's engagement photos, taken by Max Wanger. So pretty.







They also make me want to go out and buy a big pink balloon.

goodbye my love

We've had some good time but I've really and truly given you up. (Unless, I'm at Cafe Rio of course)

for chelsea

my edited bookshelf

the last one i swear

still breaking for sunsets

Same sunset as the previous post but a few minutes later. Yes, I pulled over twice. If only I'd been going south... I love how you can juuuust see the sun touching the water.

i break for sunsets

So yeah... you can see part of the car in the picture but whatever. And yes, I'm pulled over on the side of the highway.

throw it away blindly

But there must be a real giving up of the self. You must throw it away "blindly" to so speak... Submit to death, death of your ambitions and favourite wishes every day and death of your whole body in the end: submit with every fibre of your being, and you will find eternal life. Keep back nothing. Nothing that you have not given away will be really yours... Look for yourself, and you will find in the long run only hatred, loneliness, despair, rage, ruin, and decay. But look for Christ and you will find Him, and with Him everything else thrown in.

I love this quote by C.S. Lewis. Shaylyn had this up on her wall when we were in Minnesota and I sort of adopted it. Sometimes I get so caught up in "me, me, me"... "i, i, i"... "i want, i wish, i need"... "i have, i don't have"... and then you know, I have a blog, and a facebook, and a LiveJournal, and all of these other things that let me just get so wound up in my own self. It's not cute.

just another sunday

I no longer have 14 primary kids. I have six. They decided last week to split up my class. It makes sense and I knew it was coming but it makes me a little sad. Sure, there's less chaos and fewer trips to the bathroom but still... I liked them all. Tyler had a complete and total breakdown when his mom told him he couldn't sit in my row any more. He had to be taken out 3 times before he'd sit with his class. Isaac was fine sitting with his new teacher until we got up to go to class and he was told he couldn't come with me. Isaac is a silent crier which just makes it sadder. Do I sound like a jerk if I say that as bad as I felt for them I was a little happy/relieved that they at least liked my class. Everyone else is settling in okay including me. Except... Isaac is no longer speaking to me. He will barely even look at me! I got an accidental cheeky smile from him once but that's it. I mentioned it to his mom and she said that he was just so hurt that he wasn't in my class anymore. Oh the drama of Primary.

In other news Harlow threw up six times last night. Poor puppy. I can't figure out why.. it didn't look like she ate anything weird. (Sorry if that's gross)

Today went by really fast! I didn't even get a Sunday nap in.

she likes to read

the selection of books in the photo makes me laugh

S.B.I.F.F.

I forgot to mention the Santa Barbara International Film Festival kicked off last night. And guess who had tickets? Me! Free, courtesy of my boss. The opening night movie was Nothing But the Truth and it was excellent. It starred Kate Beckinsale, Vera Farmiga, Alan Alda, Angela Bassett, David Schwimmer, Matt Dillon, and Noah Wyle. It was fun going to the Arlington Theatre too - I hadn't been in years, but it's a really cool (huge) theatre.

After the movie we trooped down to Paseo Nuevo for the Gala. They had the entrances to the mall blocked off (since it's an outdoor mall) and the place was packed. Lots of good food, good music and good fun.

I got home super late and still had to be up at 5 am for work. I'm dying. But it was worth it.

My friend from high school has a film showing tonight called Dead Horse Opera that I'm dying to see and then after that Kate Winslet is being honored and my boss said I could have tickets to that too... but I don't know if I can handle two late nights in a row. Man, that made me sound OLD!

There are a few other movies/presentations next week that I'm going to try to go see too. Going to the Film Festival makes me feel fancy.

ho hum work is dum

It's raining today. Boo. I guess the 70 + weather couldn't last forever.

I'm really working on my 101 in 1001 goal to cook more and use my recipe books more. Last night I made chicken escalope with parsley and capers. It was sooooo good. The recipe is from Apples for Jam. A few nights ago I made potatoes with rosemary and sage. YUM!

Tonight I'm going to try this recipe. I'm not sure how I feel about the peanut butter in the soup but a friend made it and she swore it was amazing. And I always believe her. So we'll see...

I've also decided to give up soda. (again... yes I know... ) I realized the other night when I got in my car and drove several miles just to get one that I've quite possible become addicted. So as of today I'm 3 days clean. I only really miss it when I eat something salty but as long as I brush my teeth right away and/or have some gum handy I'm fine. And I feel good.

Last night I got ALL of my ironing done while watching American Idol. I'm excited for this season and I was excited to see Joanna Pacitti auditioning. But watching American Idol is just not as fun if you don't have a Billie and a Brian to watch it with.

Okay... back to work I guess!

lola wanted to sit alone

Just practicing some still life photography...

she was a gift while i was living in England... she has glasses like me... and one of Erin's old shirts...

a big day

this is my backyard

saved!!

how wonderful is this?

well i'll tell you. it's really, really wonderful!

edit:: for some reason the link is no longer working for me... but a company is going to re-start making instant film. They've acquired Polaroid's old equipment and factory. It's called The Impossible Project.

Sooo awesome!

I'm in love! I'm in love! And I don't care who knows it!

My long-anticipated Polaroid SLR 680! I got it used and have been waiting for it foreeeeever. Literally. Anything longer than a few weeks is forever.

I love it! I'm so happy I don't know what to do with myself. Now I just have to snatch up some film since Polaroid is no longer making instant film. Darn them. But Polaroids take such lovely, dreamy pictures.

My camera obession is taking hold... next on my list is a Diana F +. This could get out of hand.

I had to take a picture right away but I just bought the film and I'm at work and there aren't so many pretty things around... so I took I picture of my giraffe mug that I was given from the SB Zoo. It looks like there's a whitish blob. on the right corner but it must be a reflection from the light. There is no blob.

Waiting for the photo to develop... so fun!

The photo and the camera. It's much prettier in person but you get the idea.

what in the what?

I got all my papers together to file my taxes but I kept feeling like there was something else I was waiting for so I haven't yet. (Yes, I like to do them early)

Then I realized this is the first year in um... 10 years?... that I've only had to file one state return. I've been in Cali for more than a year! Yippee! Yippee?

I had a surprise dentist appt. this morning. It was a surprise because I totally forgot about it until they called yesterday afternoon. Rats! My dentist is about 45 minutes away so it took a big chunk out of the day that I wasn't planning on. There are several hygeneists in there and only one that I do not like. Her name is Daphne. When I asked who I was scheduled with they said Daphne. Double rats! I swear she hates teeth and wants to see them die. I asked as nicely as I could if I could please, please, PLEASE have someone else... ANYONE else. So they gave me Chris. He was great and I left without dried blood all along my gum line. But by the time I got home my teeth were sore so I took some Aleve. I think I just have really sensitive gums.

Last night I made beef stew. This was pretty ambitious for me but I think it turned out really well! This is the recipe:

Just sprinkle beef with salt and pepper, roll in some flour and brown in
a skillet on the stove.
Put beef in crock pot with some onions and carrots, thyme, a bay leaf,
two whole cloves pushed into one of the onion pieces, and several
garlic cloves. Pour in some port - not sure how much - maybe 1/2 cup?
and about 1/2 cup water.
Cook in crock pot for 5-6 hours on high or longer on low.
When it's done, pour crock pot contents into an oven proof baking
dish, make some biscuit dough (I just used the instant kind), drop it
over the top and bake for as long the biscuit recipe indicates.
It's actually more of a beef pot pie - and it was sooo good!

I'm not sure of exact measurements. I used maybe a little more than 2 lbs of beef. And 2 large carrots. Oh and halfway through the cooking I added two big stalks of celery chopped up because I thought it needed some more veg. Just easy on the garlic... 2 cloves is probably plenty.

One of my favorite things about this stew is that it DOESN'T have potatoes. Blech. And the alcohol cooks right out if anyone was wondering. Buying it however was fun. I spent 20 minutes in the liquer section too embarrassed to ask for help until some nice guy took pity on me.

Oh and I totally blew my no-shopping-this-month goal. I found out last week my car needed new brakes. So after I shelled out the money for that I was mad at being forced to spend my money on something I DIDN'T want and so I needed to rebel and spend my money on something I DID want. I understand that this isn't exactly logical but there you go. I returned a couple tops to Old Navy that I didn't end up giving for Christmas and got 2 tops for myself. So really I only spent $6.99 but still.

Now that I'm on a cooking roll I am looking through my cookbooks to find something else yummy!

saturday

Now is probably not a good time for me to be blogging.

I just got back from Stephanie's funeral, I'm a little sad, and have a little bit of a stomach ache. And I spent most of the day with my contacts in the wrong eyes. Whoops that was my fault.

First let me say that the funeral was nice. There were a lot of people at the chapel for the memorial service and even more people at Pepper Tree Ranch afterwards. Stephanie was beloved and it was wonderful to spend the afternoon reminiscing and being with friends and looking at her beautiful photography. It was really beautiful but sad. Very sad. Cammy spoke about her "Mommy Honey" and friends shared stories and memories. Allen's band played Can't You See (by Marshall Tucker Band) because when he was learning it she told him it was her favorite song. And the end of the service we were all standing around a grassy area at the ranch and we were told to turn to the person on your right and your left and give them a hug while the song What a Wonderful World played. I love that song and it really is a wonderful world... it's just sad Stephanie is no longer a part of it.

The other thing is that I've been looking back over my blog entries and have realized that maybe many of you are thinking to yourselves, "Doesn't Vanessa have a life? All she blogs about is puppies and primary and super long random lists." And I'd want to respond, "Of course I have a life." But the honest to goodness truth is that over the last year I think I've slowly turned into a hermit. I ran into so many old friends this weekend that still live around here that I just don't see hardly ever. Why don't I see them? Cause I'm a hermit. Maybe it's because I have a super long commute every day, maybe it's because of all of the drama going on in my family, maybe it's because the singles ward/institute is too far away ... I don't know. But I hate the feeling that I'm drifting away from friends. Especially the ones that are right here.
I don't mean for this to sound super whiney.. but when the only thing you can think of to blog about is a fish lips planter... you have to wonder.

edited 01/18/09... because my blog can be boring. i like it.

2009

I'm on a posting spree or something.

I don't think I've ever bought a calendar before the first of the year. I always wait till February or so and then they are on sale. But I the other day I ordered this calender from Etsy.com... It's so pretty I can't wait to get it!!



And then I bought this fish lips planter because it was so cute and only $4!

primary, dancing with wolves and polaroids

I missed church last week because I was sick with the flu/bronchitis/plague/whatever. So I go this week and surprise, surprise they have combined my class with the Sunbeams class and now I have 14 little children in my class. That's right 14. There is still only one of me. We were in singing time and there was Maggie with her class of 5 of the older kids and me with mine. Just as we were starting Maggie asked, "Is that all one class?" Yes. Yes it is. Keller (he's 8) said, "It's like Jesus with all the children gather around him." Ha! What I've got here is the exact opposite of that. And opposite is opposite.

But... in spite of the fact that I'm somewhat terrified I love them! My last post about them you heard all about their wild ways but they really are so sweet. Tessa and Camryn are sweet and always want to hold my hands. Bryson will always say, "Excuse me. Can I ask a question?" before asking a question. Isaac sings the loudest and always has a sneaky little grin on his face that I love and always makes me laugh because his scriptures are mysteriously missing half of the New Testament. (He didn't rip them out they are just gone.) Miranda always wants to help me and loves to say prayers. Mason is so sweet and quiet it's easy to forget he's there. Tessa told her mom I'm her best friend in Primary. Mclain almost always knows the answer and if I don't call on her right away she gets this look on her face like she's in serious pain. Camryn likes it when I call her Fred. Kiana always helps me clean up. Tyler is always eager to participate. And the rest of them are just as sweet.

But I really hope they call someone to co-teach.

PS - I hate the movie Dances With Wolves. A lot.

PPS - I am bidding on a Polaroid camera on eBay so please cross your fingers that no one outbids me today, because it's Sunday and I won't check again till tomorrow.

.resolute

Rather than making New Year's resolutions I'm re-doing my list of 101 in 1,001.


Triplux 101 in 1,001 challenge:

The Mission:
Complete 101 preset tasks in a period of 1001 days.

The Criteria:
Tasks must be specific (ie. no ambiguity in the wording) with a result that is either measurable or clearly defined. Tasks must also be realistic and stretching (ie. represent some amount of work on my part).

Why 1001 Days?
Many people have created lists in the past - frequently simple goals such as new year's resolutions. The key to beating procrastination is to set a deadline that is realistic. 1001 Days (about 2.75 years) is a better period of time than a year, because it allows you several seasons to complete the tasks, which is better for organizing and timing some tasks such as overseas trips or outdoor activities.

My end date for task: Saturday, October 1, 2011 - I found that date using this.

And finally, my list of tasks is located here. I plan to repost this link on the first of every month with an update of how things are coming along. (I will update the site otherwise, but just remind you all of it's existence on the first of the month.)

Just playing with my new camera...

come on baby light my fire

I bought my first can of coffee today. I got the biggest, strongest kind they had at the store. But I didn't buy it to drink. The dried grounds are sitting all over my house in little bowls.

So the other night I get home from work, grab Harlow, run some errands, stop by a friend's and go over to my mom's for awhile. I get home and as I'm getting out of the car I here this weird beeping noise. Our house is in the middle of nature so there's nothing nearby that could be beeping. As I walk to the house I vaguely wonder if it could be our smoke alarm. It was.

I walk in the house and it is full of thick, black, ugly smoke. I run inside, put Harlow in my room and run around opening windows while my grandmother was at the fireplace with a roaring fire going. Apparently she'd put a really big log in and bumped it against the fireplace closing the floo so the house filled with smoke. I got all the windows and doors open and the fans going but after 20 minutes my grandmother decided she's cold so she closed up the house and went to bed. So I got up in the middle of the night to turn off the heater and open up the house (no point running the heater with the doors open). I was worried about carbon monoxide poisoning!

So now 2 days later I can't even sit in our living room because the smell is killer. And it's not just the smell... I seriously can't breathe. I took Harlow to work with me yesterday because I didn't want her to have to smell the fumes all day.

So after washing down all the walls in the front part of the house and using a steam cleaner on the furniture and still not being able to get rid of the smell I'm scowering the internet for other solutions. Fortunately there's no ash to clean up- just the smoke smell.

So far I've tried cleaning, steam cleaning, boiling a huge pot of vinegar and letting the steam go through the house and lighting every good-smelling candle I can find and now coffee. Once we get rid of the smoke smell I'll have to work on getting rid of the vinegar/coffee smell. It wouldn't be so bad if I could convince my grandmother to leave the house open to air out, but when you're old there is nothing worse than being cold. Apparently my grandmother can't smell it at all.

Sleeping with all the windows open maybe be why I'm still not over my darn cold. Darn it!

Stephanie Godeck 28 Dec 2008

Stephanie

My friend's mom passed away Sunday morning. I could not have been more shocked or sad. No one is sure yet why she died, which I think makes it even harder to deal with and accept. She was so young, and so alive. She was one of those woman that you want to be like when you grow up... fun, cool, kind, loving. Her daughters called her Mommy Honey. She really was that sweet. The last time I saw her was at the blessing of her brand new little granddaughter Presley just before she died. I'm sure Presley would have known her as Grandma Honey.

I can't imagine how people face moments like this without the knowledge of the gospel. If this was it, if she were just taken from us, forever, with no explanations or promise or hope it would be devestating. Even knowing we will see her again it's still heartbreaking to lose her. I can't wait to see her again.

♥

People do not die for us immediately, but remain bathed in a sort of aura of life which bears no relation to true immortality but through which they continue to occupy our thoughts in the same way as when they were alive. It is as though they were traveling abroad.
Marcel Proust

Death is not putting out the light. It is extinguishing the lamp because the dawn has come.
Rabindranath Tagore